I have a confession to make, and I’m not really proud of it. But I need to purge all the same. Please do not judge when reading the next statement.
My name is Stefi, and I am addicted to The Hills.
I know, I know, I , too, tend to lose a few brain cells after I watch it, but OMG! I am obsessed. And this year’s season premiere did not disappoint.
For all you living under a rock, The Hills is the 2008 version of what The Real World did in 1990 (and if you don’t know what The Real World is, go back to your rock). And despite all its present controversy of whether or not it is “reality” (some cast members have been known to slam the door twice after a huge fight…because the lighting was bad the first take…), The Hills is a juggernaut that shouldn’t be ignored. It is showing the glamorous side of Hollywood that us mortals would never see, and reminds me, yet again, that my choice to move out of Hollywood was a good choice indeed! ( I tend to rhyme when making silly statements about my openly-evil relationship with Hollywood).
Well, I guess its other appeal might have something to do with the drama that unfolds with a cast as beautiful as it can get in Tinsletown. Put The Hills in Milwaukee, and we might have a problem. (Seriously, who dresses formal to go to dinner?)
So, Lauren is rich. She’s pretty. But the best thing is that she portrays real. She cries. Whether or not it’s on cue, no one seems to care. She deals with what every twentysomething nowadays deal with: relationships, work, falling in love and how to get by. Granted she has a 10 million dollar trust fund to fall back on, a soundtrack to her life, and the best and worst moments all captured on video tape to be played at her wedding (which will no doubt be videotaped for air), but you sympathize with her. You feel for her. And if you’re like me, you see a little bit of yourself in her…real or not.
Then there’s Audrina, who is this beautiful, somewhat shy, sympathetic character who you think is going to be the quintessential “I’m-so-pretty-but-so-insecure” brunette Barbie doll, and I’m not gonna lie, she comes off like that in the first two seasons. But now, in its fourth glorious season, we see her go one-on-one with Lo, Lauren’s roommate. Oh, a good season indeed.
Now Lo is a Joan Collins-esque bitchy yet self-assured best mate to Lauren since the sand box. Spencer and Heidi (notice you cannot talk about one without the other) really just need to stop feeding off their 15 minutes teat and get on with their lives. Perhaps stop dying their hair platinum blonde and gain a few brain cells. But I digress. There’s Whitney, who I at first hated because of her thick California Valley girl accent, but have grown to love since she seems to be the only one with a good head on her shoulders. And there is a whole host of characters to add to the drama that is all encapsulated into a 23-minute weekly. Gotta love editors.
But the fact that this controversy of “is it reality or is it staged” hasn’t wavered fans a bit because it boils down to this: The Hills is a soap opera with gorgeous scenery (please tell me how three twentysomethings who don’t really work bought a 2 bedroom plus guest house flat in Hollywood…hello daddy!), a killer soundtrack (it is MTV, after all, they do play SOME music…right?), and all the catfights and drama that come from being gorgeous and living in LA. Oh, and those boys? Mere accessories to these princesses’ palace.
The Hills is my crack because even if their entrances are faked, their stories are real. These characters are real. No one can script a show quite like this one…I mean, “I want to forgive you, and I want to forget you????” Who writes this brilliant stuff? No one can script that spontaneity. No one can write this stuff!
I take that back. You know someone, somewhere in The Hills of Hollywood has already written, submitted, and sold the rights to The Hills: The Movie.
**Side note: As much as I love seeing places I used to be and know exactly where they are shooting, watching The Hills also gives me some sick pleasure of realizing that I made the right choice to come home to Chicago. That even though I love the drama of The Hills, it is better left on the TV screen, and as easy as it is to fast-forward through MTV’s plethora of teenage contraband to get to the glamorous parts of Hollywood that I remember, it is just as easy to turn off the “staged reality”, realize I have no drama to call my own, smile at that thought, and call it a night.
Don’t get me wrong though, I’d love Lauren’s life. If only for her fashion sense, her Mercedes and her bank account. I’ve already made her mistakes in the boy department…mere accessories to the Chateau de Stefani….
