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‘Story Time.’ Category

  1. Story Time: Old lyrics to songs yet unsung

    July 20, 2010 by me

    So I had some, let’s just say, “motivation”, to write today…and instead of taking the pen to paper, I actually picked up the pick and started strumming. It’s been a while…let’s just say the guitars that hang on my wall are a little dusty. But my finger pads are sore, and I have yet another song to add to the overwhelming list of lyrics. I’m either going to write a musical, or a really crappy folk album.

    I forgot how much I love writing, and it was hilarious to go back to the other songs and look at what I wrote. I keep one legal pad full of quotes, rhyming words, snips of concepts that don’t make any sense, but rhyme. And I actually came across a book where I started writing all these phrases and random ideas in a blank journal. All these little quips that I so love…like “No sense of self – it’s motivated by the headlines of the day” or my favorite that was written 2008 (oh how nothing has changed) “The what-ifs haunt my doubts of self-consciousness, dredging up old insecurities in the mud of adversity”. Now, if I could write a song around that phrase, I think it would be a hit!

    But the funniest thing was coming across this “song” that I wrote, when I lost all my iPod music because iTunes is the devil and erased everything in an instant. So here it is. It’s a little violent, a little hostel, but I remember the time exactly, where you thought all your tunes were safe and sound, contained in a little box…and with one false click of the “ok to erase” button, your world was shattered….so to all the people who have ever lost their entire iPod playlists, this one’s for you:

    An Ode to My iPod (7/30/08)

    Why won’t you just DIE DIE DIE
    You stupid little thing

    Why do I RELY LIE LIE
    On every little thing you do

    I totally hate you.
    You stupid music player thing.

    Why won’t you DIE DIE DIE
    You stupid little box.

    All you do is LIE LIE LIE
    about your magic powers.

    I hate you…but I love you…and therein lies the rub.

    Just DIE you stupid iPod scum!

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  2. Story Time: Comparison Ex

    April 25, 2010 by me

    Why, in a new relationship that you think is going well, does the ex-factor invade? Unless you are dating a freshman in the dating college of life (god bless you for it), you, as a single, independent woman, are going to be compared to the ex. No matter how wonderful or horrible she was, you will inevitably fall into the comparison chart in every aspect, from clothing style to sexual position. In my current single status, I have learned from my ex beau that he used to be romantic, dropping off flowers at apartment doors just because. And since his last girlfriend didn’t appreciate them for all their beauty, as I inevitably would, I was not allowed to have drive-by flowers. In fact, because of her, I was not allowed to have expensive dinners, long walks on the beach, or jewelry. And I tried to play the “cool” girlfriend card, brushing off the comparisons about how she hated video games, and how cool I was that I could beat his roommates in MarioKart. But that gave me more best friend status than girlfriend status. To him, he never needed to do anything romantic, because we were just casually dating, I wasn’t  at all like his ex, who had the ring picked out, along with the condo, BMW, and 2.5 kids. I was the cool new girlfriend, who never expected anything.

    But as the best friend/casual fling thing eventually turned into the girlfriend title, things changed. Why does everything change with this title? It’s just that: a title. Why did I treat it like a ring on my finger? Often times, with the title, comes responsibility, obligation. And expectation. Now, every time he compared me to the ex, which was more now than ever, I didn’t let it slide off me. I took it to heart, because, after all, we were exclusively dating, and that meant we were seeing each other, not seeing each other and the ghosts of exs past. I probably wouldn’t have a problem with the ex factor if it wasn’t for the fact that I was friends with all my exs…for some reason, I have always been able to maintain a friendship with the exs. In fact, some of these exs are my best friends, who are constantly telling me I expect too much from guys, and no one will live up to my idea of a perfect man…but I digress. Exs were showing up everywhere, even in relationship terms like the expectation of flowers on Valentine’s Day (and everyday I was sad), the exchange of phone numbers or apartment keys, the explaining and excuses for being late to movie night…the list goes on and on. Being exclusive meant being able to handle all the exceptional baggage that came with this exceptional man. There was a reason you started dating him, right?

    So what is it about the ex-factor that is so intimidating? Is it the fact that I have been screwed over more than once because his ex screwed him over? Am I getting ex-screwed? Should I not care about this, and be happy that I have someone who loves me for who I am, or should I really care, sit him down, and tell him that he needs to leave his ex baggage at the door? After all, there is an ex in exit, isn’t there?

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  3. Story Time: Average Girl.

    April 15, 2010 by me

    She was an average girl, living in her average world. She had an average job, making average money. An average apartment with an average dog. An average life, just like any other. She played mediocre tennis at a mediocre club, with her mediocre friends who remained indifferent to her mediocre life. She never expected anything better than average, having grown up in an average home, on an average block, in average-ville, USA. But one day, all that changed.

    You see, average Jane was, well, plain average. Everyday was the same.  She’d smile the average way, walk the same old way, to her same old car, going to her same old job. And the vicious cycle would happen all over again. Until one day, average Jane met average Joe, and since two averages don’t make a whole, the average world’s collided with Jane and Joe. And thus another set of averages were born.
    While walking her dog on an average fall day, Jane slipped and fell in a very non-average way. “What was that?!” she exclaimed, as her now less than average dog barked away. “But average dog, you never bark, what has gotten into you?” And just like that, average Jane wasn’t in Average-ville anymore.  The bump on her head had made her unique, at least for this moment, and average Jane freaked. Whatever will I do with a non-average head injury? She wondered. Where would she go in her average world? She was shunned from her average world, as she was not average anymore, not with this big lump of a bump on her head. She was unique. She was special. And it freaked her out to no end.

    What ever will I do? She wondered, rubbing her not-so-average head. She went to bed in the middle of the afternoon, which was so not the average, and fell into a deep sleep. When she awoke, she found herself in the opposite of average-land. She was in Different Land, where being average was seen as cool, and if you were different, you were shunned from the world.

    Average Jane lived in an average world until one day, she meets someone from the Different land that shows her what’s so great about not being average. After a time in Different land, Average Jane realizes that it’s not so bad being average after all. Life expectancy, at the very least, is longer.

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